Hands
by Mystic Deadman
Summary: During a mission for the Glade, Ibuki had a fateful encounter.
1. Blood

Ibuki wasn't sure how long she'd been sitting in this tree. Her forehead was killing her, and her hands felt like they were on fire. She'd carefully sat them in her lap, trying hard not to irritate them. It was bad enough that they hurt like hell, and she'd force herself to look at anything but them so she wouldn't have to see the blood on them.

She was sure the tree bark that dug into her forehead wasn't doing her any favors, either. She could almost feel the bark digging into her flesh, and she was sure more blood was tricking down her face, though she couldn't see it for herself.

Ibuki tried hard. She tried hard not to think about why her hands would be hurting so much, or why she was sitting in a tree trying to use the trunk to dig the memory out of her brain. She tried to think of something, anything to distract herself from the memory. But nothing that came to her lasted for very long before she found herself back on the subject she wanted desperately to find. As much as she wanted it to, the sounds of the forest that surrounded the village she'd called home did nothing to help

Which was why the crunching of fallen leaves on the ground below her caused her to curl in on herself. She closed her eyes as tightly as she could when the person causing said crunching called up to her.

"There you are."

The timing couldn't have been worse for her. All she wanted was to be alone, but her best friend had somehow managed to track her to the one tree in the whole forest that she'd been hiding in.

"Do you have any idea how long I've been looking for you? How long everyone's been looking for you? We've all been so worried about you ever since you got back."

"Leave me alone, Sarai. I don't want to talk about it."

Sarai rolled her eyes, her hands on her hips. Her eyes scanned the tree, looking for the safest way up. When she'd found a route that satisfied her, she'd began her trek up. She groaned on her way up, complaining about the tree on her way up.

"How do you get up these things without cutting yourself up? I'm pretty sure I've gotten a million and a half splinters in my hands and feet."

This would normally have been the point where Ibuki would've made a snarky comment, probably one where she pointed out that she was wearing shoes while Sarai only wore the bandage wraps that were normally all the ninja in the Glade would wear.

Eventually, Sarai managed to work her way to a branch a shade lower than the one Ibuki sat on. Ibuki was grateful for that. She didn't want people close to her at the moment, and a small humorous thought in the back of her mind wondered if the branch, thick enough as it was for her to sit on it, was strong enough to hold two.

The two sat in silence, the sounds of a breeze through the trees the only sound to be heard in the area. Sarai watched the sun setting in the distance, lowering the goggles that normally sat on her head over her eyes. Ibuki let her eyes glaze over, her mind going back to making her regret ever having woken up on her first day of life.

If she hadn't woken up then, she wouldn't be in the situation she was in now.

Minutes passed before Sarai sighed, her patience clearly having run out.

"Okay, I can't take it anymore. We need to talk."

Ibuki groaned herself, digging her head into the tree harder.

"No, we don't. I told you, I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?" Sarai pressed, lifting her googles and glaring at her best friend. "I get that something happened, but you can't just shut out everyone in your life because of it. The fact that you managed to hide from an entire ninja village is both awesome and scary, and I'm really worried about the scary part of that. So please, tell me what's going on."

Ibuki curled up even tighter, trying to tuck her legs in as tight underneath her as much as she could. She could feel a fresh set of tears trying to well up in her eyes, though she blinked them away as fast and as hard as possible.

"I didn't want to do it," she said weakly, not sure if she was talking to Sarai or herself. "I didn't mean to. It just happened..."

Sarai's gaze softened. "What happened?"

* * *

"Ugh, I hate paper so much," Ibuki grumbled, the very tips of her fingers dancing along the tops of various file folders inside the cabinet she found herself searching. "This is so stupid."

Her eyes ran along the sheets as she quickly ran through them, though the darkness of an office building at night made it difficult to find what she was looking for. Or, it would have if she hadn't had the forethought to carry her cellphone with her, its flashlight app making her more grateful than ever for modern technology.

"Who even keeps records on paper anymore?" She continued to growl out, keeping her voice as low as possible as she could. "It's the twenty-first century. Why wouldn't you just keep all this stuff on a computer and make my life easier?! Why am I even doing this in the first place?!"

She reached the end of the drawer, groaning once more when she realized that she hadn't found the particular financial document she was looking for. She'd been tasked with searching the offices she found herself in for records of its bank accounts. When she'd been given the assignment, she'd asked about who'd hired the Glade for the job only to get the same answer she'd gotten several times before:

"We'll worry about that. Concern yourself with the task before you."

Which was why she'd cursed the corpses of trees that she'd been forced to sift through. She'd also asked about potential computers to check, or clues for passwords to said computers. That was when her elder informed her that the owner was more old-school than that and kept such records on paper.

With one final sigh, she eased the cabinet closed, the quietest of squeaks as the only audible betrayal of her actions. She moved her hand down to the handle of the file cabinet's next drawer when something happened that would change her life forever.

The dark office, having been abandoned for the night hours before, was suddenly illuminated at her specific location.

"Hey!"

Ibuki snapped her head up, instantly finding the source of the flashlight that was now revealing her to the holder. Two thoughts briefly flew through her mind. One: she was immediately glad she'd brought her cowl with her. Her eyes may have been exposed, but between the dark coloration of it against her outfit and the awkward angle her body was positioned between the file cabinet and the security guard that found her, it would've been incredibly difficult for him to identify her if they'd ever managed to run into each other on the street.

Two: How did he manage to sneak up on her so easily? She was a ninja, as much as it pained her to admit it at times. She should've been able to pick up on some guy walking around at a casual pace, even on the office's carpeted floor.

In the time that it took for those thoughts to cross her mind, her instincts took control of her muscles, pumping the ones in her legs to move from where the guard had found her. With a shout from the man, a foot-chase through the room began. Ibuki's training would have paid off in a normal, open setting. Her clearly stronger legs, toned through a lifetime of ninja training, should have been able to carry her out of the situation in an instant. The problem was, though, was that in tthe days she'd spent studying the office's layout, it had drastically changed. The cubicles that she should've been able to navigate through easily were now nearly causing her to crash through them. Still, though, Ibuki ran.

_Whereisitwhereisitwhereisit_

Her mind raced, trying to think up the schematic she'd been given as part of her studies. The particular set of offices and cubicle maze she was in was on the fifth floor of the building she'd infiltrated, and she was scanning her memory as rapidly as she could for the one window on the floor that led to the fire escape that would serve as her emergency exit. Before she could remember, however, something threatened to make its way to the front of her mind first.

Specifically, a particularly loud bang and a small rush of air that flew by her head. Only the sting of metal on metal and the spark of an impact served as proof of the shot barely missing her. Once again, a lifetime of training overrode all trains of thought, and suddenly her hand shot to the strap wrapped around one thigh. Her fingers threaded themselves through the ring of a kunai and, in one fluid motion, whipped the weapon out in the direction the gunshot came from. A brief groan of pain and the thumping of a body falling caused her to stop and see what had happened.

Her eyes widened, the hand still holding her phone dancing the light across the man who'd tried to shoot her. He lay completely motionless, the kunai she'd thrown standing up straight in a location she tried not to think about, if only to prevent herself from throwing up on the spot. She stared at the body for a moment, hoping to see the chest rise and fall. She's watched for several seconds, but it never happened.

Her lips quivered under her cowl as the realization of what she'd done finally came over her. It was then that the most coherent thought she'd had in the last 5 minutes made itself known.

_I need to get out of here, now!_

A few hours later, Ibuki found herself in her home, her head as buried in her toilet as it could be. She wasn't sure how long she'd been in there. She'd lost track of time somewhere in between evacuating her stomach nearly endlessly and the blurry vision she suffered from the amount of crying she'd done. After that, she'd lost even more time attempting to scrub the blood off her hands, even though in the back of her mind she knew that all she was doing was rubbing otherwise physically clean hands raw. Didn't stop her from feeling like it was there, though, and she had convinced herself that because she could feel it, it needed to go.

As she left her restroom, dragging herself along the walls because her legs were too weak to keep her up, she could hear a knocking at her front door. She sucked in a breath and held it. Hopefully, whoever it was that wanted to talk to her would just _go the fuck away_ and let her have some time to herself. But no, the asshole at the door kept knocking, refusing to let her have any peace. Ibuki began to cry again, a wave of frustration hitting her hard. It was hard enough, trying to come to terms with what she'd done, but now the fact that whoever this was just wouldn't get the hint and _back the fuck off_ was just making things worse.

* * *

That was when she'd gotten an idea that led to her present situation. It wasn't unheard of for a ninja to sneak out of a building through a window, and in fact that was how she'd made her escape earlier that night. She ran up to the second floor of her home, opened herself an exit to the outside, and jumped into a tree that sat next to her home. A few well-placed jumps later, and she considered herself lost enough in the expansive forest that people would waste a lot of time trying to find her. Time she'd needed to try and push the memory away.

_I killed someone. I killed someone who was just doing his job. Just like I was doing mine._

Time she thought she'd had before Sarai managed to track her down.

"How did you find me, anyway?"

Sarai chuckled to herself. "Next time, don't try to hide from your little friend."

Before Ibuki could question it, a familiar tanuki wormed its way around her body, settling itself around her shoulders and nuzzling into her cheek. Ibuki couldn't help but chuckle, stroking a finger along Don's muzzle.

"You sold me out."

The three of them sat in silence again, Ibuki continuing to pet Don while Sarai processed what she'd heard. Ibuki made a point to look away from her hand. While scratching away at her closest friend did help a little, she still didn't want to look at the physical damage she'd done to her it.

"Ibuki, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'll be honest, when I got the chance to join the village, I was excited because it meant I'd finally have something in common with you. But then, the thought that I might have to do something like that crossed my mind. And, I'll be honest, I don't know if I'd handle it any differently than you did.

"I don't want to ever have to kill anyone, and hearing about you doing it makes it sound more likely than not that I'll have to, too." Ibuki stopped her scratching at that. She felt tears forming in her eyes again. This isn't what she'd imagined when she'd invited her friend to join the Glade. Just like Sarai, she just wanted to have something in common with her closest friend. She didn't want her to think about taking a life.

"I'm not going to pretend that I know exactly what you're feeling," Sarai continued. "I'm not going to act like I'm ready to do anything like that, or that if it ever happens, I won't lose everything thinking about it.

"But you want to know what I wouldn't do?" Ibuki didn't answer. Part of her _was_ considering the question, but a bigger part of her was focused on making Don comfortable. Don, for his part, tried to make himself seem comfortable to try and cheer his owner and partner up.

"I wouldn't lock you, or anyone else, out of my life and go through that hell by myself."

Ibuki winced that that. Was she sure about that.

"There are so many people you could talk to about this. So many people just want to help you get through what you're feeling now, and you're not letting them. Instead, you're out here, digging yourself an emotional grave and burying yourself alive.

"Please, Ibuki. I'm asking you, as your best friend. Come back to the village. Forget about reporting in for now. I can talk to Sanjou about delaying your debriefing for now. I'm sure he'd be willing to fight for you with the Elder. But please, let's go talk to someone.

"Please."

During the talk, Ibuki had brought Don in for a hug. The tanuki curled in on her when she did, hugging her as best he could. She sat quietly for a few moments, letting her mind mull over her best friend's words. She felt an arm wrap around her shoulders, and looked to see Sarai lean her head down on her.

"Please?"

Ibuki sighed. If it were any other day, she'd whine about how unfair it was that her two closest friends on the planet were double-teaming her into doing something. Now, though? Her eyes moved back and forth between the two.

Sarai was right. She was beating herself up and shutting everyone around her out. There were people in the village that had experienced what she was. There was probably at least one person she could talk to about everything. Someone who could help her get past her feelings.

"Okay."

Sarai picked her head up. "What?"

Ibuki started uncurling herself, letting her legs stretch out for the first time in what felt like hours.

"Okay. Let's go. I think I'm ready."

Don started chittering, happy that his partner was finally getting out of the tree. Sarai took her arm away, letting her friend go to start moving around. She smiled, happy to see her friend getting set to take the next step in her ninja life. She was sure she'd have to deal with something like this in time, but that was then. This was now, and now her friend needed her to be there for support.

The group made their way down the tree, Ibuki and Don hopping off the branch while Sarai opted to go down branch by branch. Once the three were set, they started making their way back to the village. Ibuki stayed at the back, letting Sarai lead the way while Don hopped onto her shoulder for a ride. She stared at the back of Sarai's head for a minute. Of all the people the little freeloader on her shoulder had to snitch to, it had to be the one person in the world who knew how to get to her.

Ibuki smiled to herself. She was glad there were people in her life that were there to support her. As well as give her a needed kick in the ass.

* * *

**This came to me while playing Street Fighter V's Story mode. There's an instance in that game where, for those who haven't played or watched it, Ibuki does something that feels very out-of-character for her. I thought I'd give that moment a little backstory to help it make sense to me.**

**If you like this story and would like to see more of my works, please feel free to subscribe for story updates. Also be sure to follow me on Twitter ( MysticDeadman), instagram ( mystic_deadman), DeviantArt (MysticDeadman) and AO3 (Mystic Deadman) for updates!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. Tears

It took some time.

Taking a life is never easy for anyone. Ibuki, as well as every ninja and kunoichi in the Glade, knew in the back of their minds that there was always the possibility of having to defend themselves to the end. Even the most basic of missions came with a high risk when they were issued in an era where anyone could carry a weapon of some kind. Granted, Japan's rigid stance on firearms meant it was less likely that trainees would run into someone carrying a gun, but even then the simplest of tasks could still be met with deadly force.

Higher risks were, of course, reserved for the more experienced shinobi, so it came as a shock to the elder ninja that Ibuki, of all people, was pushed into killing. As was customary in these situations, an investigation was launched to determine the exact circumstances that led to the result in question. Ibuki had been informed that one such investigation would be held in her case. The news of this caused her to panic at first.

_What are they going to look for? Am I going to get in trouble? What was I supposed to do? That guard could've killed me!_

It took Ibuki several days to calm down. No matter how many times they did so, neither her immediate superior, Enjou, nor Master Sanjou could settle her nerves. The fear of being punished for acting the way she did sat too strongly in her mind. For the first two days alone, Ibuki stayed at home, dividing her time between crying in bed and kneeling at her toilet. Sarai would visit her after school, bringing in class assignments to work on as well as spending time with her best friend.

Two weeks after the incident occurred, a judgment was handed down. Ibuki sat on her knees in the traditional room used to assign missions when she was given the scroll. Sarai sat with beside her, an arm wrapped around her friend's waist in support.

Ibuki didn't even look at the scroll at first. A mix of fear and panic forced her to look at anything other than the object in her hand. Instead, she thought she'd try to read the face of Sanjou. Maybe if she could see his expression, she could figure out what the scroll was going to say before she even opened it.

Unfortunately for her, though, her master's expression remained stone-like. She would later say that she'd only ever see him keep that straight of a face whenever he wasn't yelling at her for one thing or another.

Trying to read Master Enjou's face was just as useful. The village's Master kept himself hidden in shadows as much as he could, so trying to read his expressions was like trying to see what a wall was thinking.

She felt the arm around her tighten slightly. She turned to her side, looking over at the smiling face of her best friend. A small part of her regretted Sarai being in the same village as her, let alone the same room. If it weren't for that stupid mission several months ago where she had to hunt down that old man, Sarai wouldn't have been dragged into the ambush that nearly destroyed the village. If it weren't for that ambush, she wouldn't have been there to help fight the fires set by the village's rival ninja clan. If it weren't for that, she wouldn't have been recruited into ninja training.

And if it weren't for all that, Sarai would never have to risk being in Ibuki's position some day.

As it was, though, Sarai's smiling was actually working wonders for her. She could feel a bit of warmth flowing through her. She looked back to the scroll in hand. She drew in a deep breath and held it as she undid the tie holding the scroll together. She slowly unfurled the paper, her eyes dancing across the writing it held.

A few seconds of silence passed. Nobody in the room moved or said a word. Before long, a tear rolled down Ibuki's cheek. She released the breath she'd been holding in the whole time. The air didn't leave her as a steady stream of warm breath, however. Instead, it came out as a soft sob.

_The circumstances reported by the Genin Ibuki were substantiated by facts found in the investigation. It has been determined that Ibuki had been forced into a position where her only means of self-defense and survival were to meet force with force. She was left with no choice but to take the life of her attacker, or have her own taken. Upon conclusion of this investigation, it has been determined that Ibuki is to be cleared of any and all accusations. _

Ibuki's hands shook as she read the results. More tears fell from her eyes, with some dropping onto the paper. Sarai looked over her friend's shoulder, reading the scroll herself. As she did, she tightened her hug.

"It's okay. It's okay. You're okay," she whispered into Ibuki's ear. She whispered to Ibuki over and over again. Neither girl noticed as Sanjou walked over to the pair. He set a firm, yet gentle hand on Ibuki's shoulder. The pair of girls looked up at him.

"These things happen, Ibuki," he said. None of the usual assertiveness could be heard in his voice. "Sometimes, we are left with no choice but to do what must be done to complete our mission. I will not lie to you; what you did will never get easier. Believe me when I say that this experience will, and has, changed your life, and it will do so for the positive. If you ever want to talk about this, or anything else, my door is always open to you."

With that, the two senior ninja excused themselves from the room. The two teenagers were given all the time and space they needed.

* * *

Several weeks later, Ibuki felt a shiver shake its way from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Winter had rolled in quickly, bringing in a wave of snow with it, and even the layers upon layers of fabric covering her did little to keep her warm. She walked gingerly through the graveyard, eyes scrolling over the various names of those who had taken up residence there. She felt a wave of sorrow pass through her with each stone, though she continued to scan for one in particular.

Eventually, she found it.

Her eyes ran over the kanji that denoted the one who was buried there. She stared at it for a few minutes, letting the sorrow settle over her again. It took some time for her to find out who he was, and she understood why. It would be a huge risk to both Ibuki and the Glade if she were caught anyone investigating the incident. The only reason she'd even been able to get a name in the first place was because Master Enjou felt that she needed and deserved the closure.

She knelt at the grave, tracing over the name with a finger. She took a deep breath, letting it out in a shuddering exhale. Even after all the weeks that had passed, she had a difficult time coming to terms with what she'd done. Even between the counseling sessions with Sanjou, talks with Sarai and even a couple of days off from training, the pain of that night still lingered.

"Hey there," she said quietly, a hand still on the marker, "It's been a while since we've seen each other. I know you probably don't remember who I am. I didn't really give you a chance to see me. I was the one in that office that night.

"I just wanted to come by and apologize. You probably figured it out when you saw me, but I'm a ninja. That night, I was just doing my job. I was looking for something, and, well, you know what happened. I want to be clear, I'm not blaming you for anything. Just like I was there to do my job, you were doing yours, and I don't blame you for it.

"I'll be honest, though, I wasn't expecting things to turn out the way they did. I thought I knew they way it was supposed to go. I thought that floor was supposed to be completely empty, and I'd have all the time in the world I needed. I wasn't expecting a security guard to come around. I'm sure you weren't exactly expecting a ninja to be snooping around, either.

"It's like I said, we were both doing our jobs, so when you saw me, I knew you did what your training taught you to do. You tried to stop, and probably hold me for the police. The gun wasn't something I was expecting either. I did what my training taught me to do when we're in trouble, so I ran. The shot scared me, and my training kicked in again.

"I'm-" she choked back a sob, "I'm so sorry about this whole thing. I don't know if there's anything either of us could've done differently. I just wish that it hadn't happened at all. You didn't deserve what happened to you, and your family didn't deserve to lose you. I'm so sorry."

"Excuse me?"

The muffled voice caught Ibuki by surprise. She had to fight down the urge to jump, instead turning to see who it was that called out to her. A teenage girl, probably no less than a year or two younger than Ibuki, had approached her while the girl was unaware.

"I'm sorry for interrupting you, but I have to ask: did you know my father?"

_Oh God…_

Ibuki picked herself up from the ground, patting away some snow that had stuck itself to her legs. She took another second to compose herself and wipe away that the tears on her face before answering.

"Yeah, kinda."

A scarf may have covered the bottom half of her face, but the short dark hair did nothing to disguise the look of confusion in her eyes.

"What do you mean, you 'kinda' know him?"

_Oh crap! What was that cover again?_

"Uh, yeah! He came to my school a couple of years ago."

"Oh really? What for?"

"Uh, it was just for a motivational assembly. He talked about the stuff you usually do in one of those things. Y'know, doing the best you can, never giving up on your dreams. The usual."

The girl relaxed a little. "Oh yeah, I remember him talking about that. He visited a couple of schools to talk about his career as a police officer and security guard. He loved doing that kind of thing, you know. He always talked about wanting to be able to protect the people around him. It was a dream of his since he was a little kid." The girl sniffled. "He died doing what he wanted."

"I'm sorry," Ibuki said. She fought hard to try and not break down in front of the man's daughter. "I'd heard about it on the news, but I didn't have a chance to come over and see him until now."

"Oh, it's okay. He'd talked to and helped a lot of people while he was working. I'm Satsuki, by the way." She held a hand out to Ibuki, who took it in hers.

"Ibuki."

"So, how did my dad help you?"

"Well, I was in a really bad place not too long ago, but I think talking to him about it really helped me get through it."

"Oh, that's good. I was just about to clean dad's grave. Maybe afterward, you and I could head back into town and talk?"

Ibuki smiled. "Sure, that'd be nice."

* * *

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